The other day I was driving with my trainer, Jesse, and just like Pavlov's dog, my mouth watered and I swear I tasted a Big Mac. I have eaten Mc Donald's exactly once since I started working out and I promptly got sick. Lately I have been craving a Big Mac so badly, so very badly. I don't know if I am a food addict, but I have issues with food to say the least. I mean who tastes imaginary Big Macs?!
According to WebMD, "experiments in animals and humans show that, for some people, the same reward and pleasure centers of the brain that are triggered by addictive drugs like cocaine and heroin are also activated by food." That really sounds like food, cocaine and heroin are about the same, addictive wise, to some people. Sadly, you hit rock bottom much slower with food than you do with drugs because unlike cocaine and heroin, you can't give food up. A friend of mine shared this quote with me from a morbidly obese man he knew: "Imagine trying to quit drinking alcohol by drinking alcohol three times a day." Let that really sink in and you will understand what food addicts go through. I literally had to tell my husband that he needed to take over the grocery shopping. It was too much for me. I know I'll have to get over this, but for now, I see no need to enter a store that has anything and everything I want. Too many temptations, no one to stop me. Don't get me wrong, I've made major improvements in my mental fitness. I would never buy a bag of chips and go home and eat them. I even made it through the Super Bowl without eating ANY junk food! But still, it's just a bit difficult to go to a grocery store. My last trip to CVS, couponing ;-), I had 6 bags of Chex Mix in my cart and almost bought them!!! I came to my senses and put them all back. Who needs that much Chex Mix?!
I had my light bulb moment a few years ago. My husband and son were playing in the other room, happily. Happy sounds were coming from the other room. Sunshine was coming in the windows, it was a beautiful California day. Life could not have been better at that moment, and I sat scowling, alone on the couch, thinking: "If I only had a bag of chips, I'd be happy." Whoa. Like, whoa!!! Chips??!!! Really??!!! I got up off my ass and joined my family. It was at that moment that I realized that I had been emotionally eating for awhile. Years. I can remember driving home from the store with a week's worth of groceries and only thinking about the junk food I had bought. It would be the first thing I went for. It made me happy.
Now let's go back to that cocaine/heroin/food thing. If I asked my husband to bring me home some cocaine or heroin, he'd think I was crazy and refuse! But if I asked him to bring me home a bag of chips or candy, he would, happily. He and I had to realize and admit that he was my enabler. Yeah, it's a total thing not limited to AA, lol. He told me I would get angry at him if he didn't bring me my junk food. I believe that. He has now committed to not bring me junk food. If I want it that badly, I can go get it myself. I'll admit, this has caused some tiffs, but I appreciate that he is committed to supporting me in this journey any way he can. He went shopping this week and came home with tons of veggies, fruit, chicken, turkey, and men's body wash...no women's. Baby steps...
Here is how I learned and continue to deal with my love of food. This is simply what has worked/works for me.
1.) Most importantly, I have admitted to myself that I have an issue with food. You cannot change what you don't acknowledge. Until my light bulb moment, I honestly didn't see it. I didn't see it. :-( Even now that I see I have an issue, I still struggle with it daily. Pretty sure this will be a lifetime struggle. I have accepted that I can no longer celebrate by over indulging in food, food cannot be a source of pleasure for me, food is fuel.
2.) I counted my calories with My Fitness Pal, an iphone app. It only took me a few weeks to learn the calories and fat content in the food I eat. Now I don't bother to track my food, I know enough to be able to hit my caloric goal and what will send me over it. (I've been on a 1200 - 1500 calorie diet since I started working out with Jesse.)
3.) I keep absolutely nothing I can't eat in the house. Even then, the bread and crackers that are a staple in this home are a daily temptation. I never thought I would be tempted by a Triscuit, but the struggle is real. Almonds or dark chocolate covered pomegranates have become my new favorite snacks. A very small amount of either with fill me up and settle that salt or sugar craving.
4.) I try to trick my body into thinking I'm full. Let's face it, I'm not starving. So if I'm getting that munchie craving, I try to drink water and fill my tummy that way. It doesn't always work, but hey, it's worth a shot.
5.) I avoid places where there is temptation. Fast food restaurants, center aisles at grocery stores and cheese shops. ;-)
6.) Lastly, I tell myself constantly: "Nothing tastes as good as fit feels." #truth
Do you think you have an issue with food? Let me tell you this: If you're getting excited when food is served to you, or at the thought of eating your favorite food, you probably have some sort of an issue. My friends without food issues do not get excited over food. They're just wired differently. Guess what? I still get excited over the thought of food, but I have given my body and taste buds time to change. It's worked!! I ate a handful of Chex Mix the other day and almost spit it out it was so salty. I now get excited over working out, and making it through the day eating clean. Who am I?!
**Disclaimer: Sarah Angelique is not a doctor. She picks out linens and bosses around unruly groomsmen for a living.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Non Scale Victories
Urban Dictionary defines Non Scale Victory (NSV) as a dieting and weight loss term for noticing your weight loss success off the scale. NSVs are important to acknowledge as the scale is only one measure of success. Here are some of my NSVs.
Three years ago my doctor told me that I was showing signs of being "pre diabetic." This is no longer the case. Huge NSV!
My son has lost weight and is eating much healthier! Huge NSV!
I AM STRONG! I am so freaking strong. Seriously. You should see me move farmhouse tables at weddings. NSV!
I bought my first pair of jeans in about 15 years. I wear them all the time and I rock them! In fact, I'm almost ready for a smaller size. NSV!
I no longer have ANY clothes that have a X in the size. I can shop in any boutique downtown as I am now a "regular" size. I don't wear shawls to cover my arms. NSV!
I can now do walking lunges with weights in my hands instead of tears in my eyes. NSV!
My back is no longer sore! This is huge. I was sore all the time. Uh, duh! Strap 30 lbs to yourself for the day and see how sore you are. NSV!
I can go longer and harder at Disneyland, my happiest place on Earth! Last year after a few days I would be crying and soaking my feet in hot water at the hotel every night. After our last trip I felt great and unloaded the car all by myself. NSV!
I have lost at least 10 inches and probably more off of my body. Can you imagine? NSV! (We'll be doing measurements in a few weeks.)
I have muscles you can see. NSV!
I have cut my sodium, read Lawry's Salt, intake to a minimum. I have changed my taste buds and it really wasn't that hard. I enjoy healthier foods that are better for me. NSV!
My BMI has gone down 10 points. NSV!
And of course...
My heart is healthier, I'll live longer, blah blah blah... NSV!
Did I forget anything, what are your NSVs?
Thank you for encouraging me, supporting me and reading my blog! xoxoxo
Three years ago my doctor told me that I was showing signs of being "pre diabetic." This is no longer the case. Huge NSV!
My son has lost weight and is eating much healthier! Huge NSV!
I AM STRONG! I am so freaking strong. Seriously. You should see me move farmhouse tables at weddings. NSV!
I bought my first pair of jeans in about 15 years. I wear them all the time and I rock them! In fact, I'm almost ready for a smaller size. NSV!
I no longer have ANY clothes that have a X in the size. I can shop in any boutique downtown as I am now a "regular" size. I don't wear shawls to cover my arms. NSV!
I can now do walking lunges with weights in my hands instead of tears in my eyes. NSV!
My back is no longer sore! This is huge. I was sore all the time. Uh, duh! Strap 30 lbs to yourself for the day and see how sore you are. NSV!
I can go longer and harder at Disneyland, my happiest place on Earth! Last year after a few days I would be crying and soaking my feet in hot water at the hotel every night. After our last trip I felt great and unloaded the car all by myself. NSV!
I have lost at least 10 inches and probably more off of my body. Can you imagine? NSV! (We'll be doing measurements in a few weeks.)
I have muscles you can see. NSV!
I have cut my sodium, read Lawry's Salt, intake to a minimum. I have changed my taste buds and it really wasn't that hard. I enjoy healthier foods that are better for me. NSV!
My BMI has gone down 10 points. NSV!
And of course...
My heart is healthier, I'll live longer, blah blah blah... NSV!
Did I forget anything, what are your NSVs?
Thank you for encouraging me, supporting me and reading my blog! xoxoxo
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
I Was Making My Child Fat
I almost slapped Jesse. She deserved it. Let me rewind. During the first month that I was working out, I mentioned my son while telling Jesse something. She said matter-of-factly: "Oh yeah, I've seen your fat kid on facebook." I froze. I wanted to slap her. I wanted to kill her. How dare she talk about my perfect baby like that?! I told her that under no circumstances should she ever say something like that about someones child. Don't poke a mama bear. Then I started thinking about what she said. It. Was. True. Horrible guilt rushed over me as I realized that I had made my child overweight. He wasn't driving to fast food, I was. We have made major changes in our household the past six months, and Gabriel is thriving! We don't weigh him and I'm not going to post pics of him, but everyone that sees him has said that he has lost weight. I can see it too. He is also more active, probably because I am able to be active with him. I have probably cut his daily calorie intake in half! Seriously, with little effort. He even still gets his beloved mac n cheese, just not as often nor as much. Better yet, I am teaching Gabriel why we are making these changes and letting him make his own food choices. We talk about healthy choices and how to make them. He doesn't ask for fast food any more, and is happy with the occasional Subway sandwich as a fast food treat. I have cut that down from a 12" to a 6". Portion control, what a concept. I am very careful not to put too much emphases on food with Gabriel. I don't want him to think he is some fat kid that is on a diet. (Diet is not the word, lifestyle is.) I simply want him to learn how to make healthy choices, why he should make them, and hopefully he won't have to go through what I am now.
Why am I writing this? Why am I calling myself out? Someone has to be honest, and I guess I'll take one for the team. Let's face it, when do you see just one overweight person in a family? Never. It's always more than one and more than likely it's the entire family. Mom, Dad and kids are all heavy. Look around America, duh, we know we're all fat. Let's do something about it! Disneyland, my other love after the gym, is constantly making "improvements" and "changes" to their existing rides to accommodate their growing consumer. The areas of the park that are original to 1955 will show you the size of the average 1950 American and it will shock you!
Wake up. If you want to slowly kill yourself, well, I can't help you. But why would you want that for your child? Why would you want your child bigger than their classmates? Look in the mirror. If you are fat I bet your kids are. #sorrynotsorry Own your truth!!! You cannot teach your children a healthier lifestyle unless you too have one. You are their example and they are at your mercy! They will get hungry and eat anything that is in the house. You choose if that is a banana or Twinkies. It's January, right? What are you waiting for?
And to all the haters that think Jesse is so mean and you can't believe the way she speaks to me, get over it!! This is a HUGE, pun intended, mental and physical change I am going through. There is no way I could be doing this on my own or without the self realization that I get working out with her. So just, stop. She is also a friend and I know she wouldn't just speak to anyone like that, so really, chill.
Why am I writing this? Why am I calling myself out? Someone has to be honest, and I guess I'll take one for the team. Let's face it, when do you see just one overweight person in a family? Never. It's always more than one and more than likely it's the entire family. Mom, Dad and kids are all heavy. Look around America, duh, we know we're all fat. Let's do something about it! Disneyland, my other love after the gym, is constantly making "improvements" and "changes" to their existing rides to accommodate their growing consumer. The areas of the park that are original to 1955 will show you the size of the average 1950 American and it will shock you!
Wake up. If you want to slowly kill yourself, well, I can't help you. But why would you want that for your child? Why would you want your child bigger than their classmates? Look in the mirror. If you are fat I bet your kids are. #sorrynotsorry Own your truth!!! You cannot teach your children a healthier lifestyle unless you too have one. You are their example and they are at your mercy! They will get hungry and eat anything that is in the house. You choose if that is a banana or Twinkies. It's January, right? What are you waiting for?
And to all the haters that think Jesse is so mean and you can't believe the way she speaks to me, get over it!! This is a HUGE, pun intended, mental and physical change I am going through. There is no way I could be doing this on my own or without the self realization that I get working out with her. So just, stop. She is also a friend and I know she wouldn't just speak to anyone like that, so really, chill.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
My Full Body and Mind Make Over - Month 6
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| Early September and Late October |
What I have achieved...
Pounds:
I have lost 24 pounds!!! Not too shabby. Especially if you saw all the muscle I have gained. True story, I'm buff! I'm not joking, like..., people are impressed. Most of all me! At first I was like, oh my gosh! What's this hard thing here?! It's cancer! Oh, wait, it's a muscle. There's a muscle there??!!
Inches:
Sadly, Jesse and I didn't do my measurements until about month 4. But just from month 4 to month 6 I lost 5.5 inches off of my body!! I had her double check. That is so incredible to me.
Weights:
I can leg press 385 pounds. Legit. I did 107 leg presses of 90 pounds (plus the weight of the sled) without stopping to win a sweatshirt. You know I'll do ANYTHING for a deal. ;-) I do walking lunges now with 20 pound weights in each hand, 6 months ago I could hardly get through three "hallways" of lunges without weights. Oh, did I mention, Jesse has found a hallway that's three times as long as the first? I can bicep curl 25 pounds, that doesn't sound like a lot but you try doing that for a minute or "until failure" as Jesse loves to say. I do straight leg dead lifts with 50 pounds, I think I started with 10 pounds and could hardly do 5 reps the first time I tried.
Clothes:
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| My BFF, Cindy, and I in November |
My Son:
Gabriel has lost a lot of weight!! I don't know how much because we don't weigh him, but I can see a major difference. He has also become more active with me. We'll go across the street and chase each other around the school's field kicking a soccer ball. My son is the second reason I wanted to get into better shape. I'm doing it for me, has to be for me, but I also want to be an example to my son.
Ignorance is Bliss:
I can't tell you how true this is. I absolutely look at food totally differently than I used to. I know exactly how much effort it will take for me to burn that bag of Doritos. No thanks! I used to look forward to food, to eating. SO MUCH of our lives are centered around food, you should look forward to it, right? Wrong. Not me at least. Or, you shouldn't get happy at the thought of eating ice cream or fast food. That was me. Now I know food is fuel. That's it. I need to fuel my body so that it is strong enough to get me through my 2 hour workouts. I need food to supply my body with vitamins, protein and nutrients. I cannot waste my calories on disgusting, processed foods. But it goes even farther than that. Did you know that 6 Triscuit crackers = 120 calories? If I'm trying to stay between 1200 - 1500 calories max, which I am, I can't even eat Triscuits! 1200 calories gives me 3, 300 calorie meals and 3, 100 calorie snacks. Let me tell you, it doesn't always seem like enough. lol. I now look forward to food in a different way. I get excited at making a healthy meal. I get excited when I make a dinner I can't finish, yet was delicious and filling. I get excited when I go out to eat and figure out something healthy I can order. I get excited over AVOCADOS. Nothing new there.
The Proof:
Now the good stuff. Here are some photos where you can really see the change. Here is a photo taken of me at my birthday this year in March and then in October.
Major difference!!! And here is a photo I'm not too thrilled to post. I don't really look great in any of these next photos as they were taken after I worked out, but people are encouraging me to post it so... here you go.
That last photo was taken a few weeks ago. I've lost 4 pounds since then!! I am really proud of myself! You might not be able to tell, but in that first picture, my smile is strained, embarrassed of how heavy and weak I had let myself become. Might I even say, that smile is hiding shame. Now look at the last photo. That smile is a genuinely proud, happy smile. I am happy! I am strong!
Sorry to be cliche, but NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS FIT FEELS! I hope I am encouraging someone out there to get their ass in the gym. Stop making excuses. Just, stop. You sound so stupid and everyone sees right through them. Jesse and Cindy have both told me that before I started working out I told them that I "was happy being big." What the hell kind of total bullshit is that??!! I cry every time I think about that. I had convinced myself that I was okay and I had the nerve to tell people that I was happy. No one is happy being "morbidly obese." (Yes, at my heaviest, this was my medical classification.) No one is happy only being able to shop in a "special section" of a store. No one is happy getting winded walking up a flight of stairs. No one is happy being the "fat friend." I will not lie to you. NOTHING about this is easy. NOTHING. NOTHING! Yes, you have to dedicate time to get into the gym or workout at home. How much TV do you watch in a day? Uh huh, you have time to go to the gym. It will hurt. It will hurt a lot. You won't want to go on Mondays. It will take awhile for your taste buds to change. I ate some of my FAVORITE potato chips the other day, and I found them bland, greasy and gross. Sometimes you will be so hungry and yet so sore that you literally won't be able to fix yourself some scrambled eggs. But guess what else? You'll feel better, you'll look better. You'll fit into that sexy outfit with the tags still on it in the back of your closet. People will tell you everywhere you go how great you look, and they really mean it! You know I love it!!! You'll get to buy all new clothes! Oh, and you'll live longer, blah, blah, blah... ;-) If I can do it, you can do it!
My Next Six Month Goals:
June, 2015 will be one year in my fitness journey. I hope to be down 50 pounds total by then. I think I can do it. I've lost 24 lbs in the first six months, I hope to match it in the next. I would like to hike Bishop's Peak in SLO and I would also like to run a 5k with Gabriel. There is one next September at Disneyland that I'm thinking about signing us up for.
Thanks for reading, stay tuned! xoxoxo
Saturday, December 20, 2014
My Full Body and Mind Make Over, Month 3
Month 3
Week 9 - August 18, 2014
I finished week 8 with a boot camp with my trainer and 5 other victims. It. Was. Horrible. I got through the workout, although it was the hardest of my life. The next day however, I was dead. My legs weren't okay for 3 days! Sunday I had a moment of weakness and had two tacos and some nachos from Taco Bell. It wasn't worth it. Craziest part, I started sweating and shaking immediately after I was finished. I didn't feel well for the rest of the day. Not to mention the self loathing. I did two extremely hard workouts with my new workout buddy Monday and Tuesday. Probably overdid it. Not to mention I ended the week with another boot camp.
Week 10
Nothing too exciting to add this week. I made it to boot camp once again and even took Gabriel. He asked to come! He only worked out for about 20 minutes, but hey, he sees me working out which has to be good, right? I'm not enjoying eating out at restaurants. I seem to order salad everywhere I go. It's safe. And boring. I did cheat and weighed myself before I was supposed to and I'm down another 4 pounds!!!! I am beyond stoked!!
Week 11
This week started out hard. It was Labor Day. I drank a few calories, let's just say that. Then we were off to Disneyland for three days. (blog to follow) Hello?! Junk food everywhere along with overpriced fruit. I investigated and our hotel did have a fitness center. Great, I thought, I can workout at least. Uh, it closed at 8:00 when of course we were still in the park. So I got my cardio in, I walked 15,000 steps in three days. Which really isn't that much, you're supposed to walk 10,000 a day. I wonder if my step counter is working. I noticed a HUGE difference in how I felt after three days at Disneyland. I usually can hardly walk and am so sore for days. I remember hobbling to a rest stop bathroom on our way home last time, this trip I unloaded the entire car and felt great! I worked out today, after 4 days off. My usual Sunday off and then the 3 days we were at Disneyland. I was sure I wasn't going to be able to handle my workout today AND I was SURE I had gained weight at the happiest place on earth. Well, my workout was hard, but I got through it. Jesse even added weights to my walking lunges. I graduated!! I couldn't help myself, I had to weigh myself and see if I had gained weight after Disneyland. Guess what, I'm down another pound!!! What?! I can't believe it! I still have another week to go this month. So far 5 pounds lost in the past three weeks, that's the best I've done.
Week 12
I finished off this month working hard and feeling great! I didn't lose weight this week, but I'm down 5 lbs for the month and that's awesome!
Lessons Learned:
Uh, to do all of the lessons I've already learned. I got this!
Jesseisms
"Are you going to puke? Tell me if you're going to puke, I wanna get my camera."
Week 9 - August 18, 2014
I finished week 8 with a boot camp with my trainer and 5 other victims. It. Was. Horrible. I got through the workout, although it was the hardest of my life. The next day however, I was dead. My legs weren't okay for 3 days! Sunday I had a moment of weakness and had two tacos and some nachos from Taco Bell. It wasn't worth it. Craziest part, I started sweating and shaking immediately after I was finished. I didn't feel well for the rest of the day. Not to mention the self loathing. I did two extremely hard workouts with my new workout buddy Monday and Tuesday. Probably overdid it. Not to mention I ended the week with another boot camp.
Week 10
Nothing too exciting to add this week. I made it to boot camp once again and even took Gabriel. He asked to come! He only worked out for about 20 minutes, but hey, he sees me working out which has to be good, right? I'm not enjoying eating out at restaurants. I seem to order salad everywhere I go. It's safe. And boring. I did cheat and weighed myself before I was supposed to and I'm down another 4 pounds!!!! I am beyond stoked!!
Week 11
This week started out hard. It was Labor Day. I drank a few calories, let's just say that. Then we were off to Disneyland for three days. (blog to follow) Hello?! Junk food everywhere along with overpriced fruit. I investigated and our hotel did have a fitness center. Great, I thought, I can workout at least. Uh, it closed at 8:00 when of course we were still in the park. So I got my cardio in, I walked 15,000 steps in three days. Which really isn't that much, you're supposed to walk 10,000 a day. I wonder if my step counter is working. I noticed a HUGE difference in how I felt after three days at Disneyland. I usually can hardly walk and am so sore for days. I remember hobbling to a rest stop bathroom on our way home last time, this trip I unloaded the entire car and felt great! I worked out today, after 4 days off. My usual Sunday off and then the 3 days we were at Disneyland. I was sure I wasn't going to be able to handle my workout today AND I was SURE I had gained weight at the happiest place on earth. Well, my workout was hard, but I got through it. Jesse even added weights to my walking lunges. I graduated!! I couldn't help myself, I had to weigh myself and see if I had gained weight after Disneyland. Guess what, I'm down another pound!!! What?! I can't believe it! I still have another week to go this month. So far 5 pounds lost in the past three weeks, that's the best I've done.
Week 12
I finished off this month working hard and feeling great! I didn't lose weight this week, but I'm down 5 lbs for the month and that's awesome!
Lessons Learned:
Uh, to do all of the lessons I've already learned. I got this!
Jesseisms
"Are you going to puke? Tell me if you're going to puke, I wanna get my camera."
Friday, August 15, 2014
My Full Body and Mind Make Over, Month 2
Week 5
I could hardly get through my workout on Sunday and by that evening I was sick with a cold. I was devastated thinking about the set back that this might give me. I managed to only take off Monday and Tuesday still making it to the gym 5 days this week. Wednesday was horrible, but I'm convinced it helped me get over my cold. I even made it to the Journey concert at the Mid State Fair and wore a shirt that hasn't fit me in months! (non scale victory) I did great and didn't eat any fair food.
Week 6
I am a little discouraged. My work out buddy hasn't been able to make it for awhile and working out 2-3 days a week alone sucks. I feel weak and fat, ugh, but I still make it 5 days to the gym.
My trainer, Jesse, put together a meal plan for me and I also found the app "My Fitness Pal" where you can log all of the food you eat. Both have helped me watch my caloric intake. I don't even want to know what it was before, but I know I've cut it by 1/2 if not 2/3. Seriously. I did have a slip up. I had a meeting at a restaurant, and this is a fact for me, I do a lot of business over drinks and food, I have to watch it. I shared a deep fried onion blossom dipped in ranch dressing. Note the word, shared. Well it was enough to make me violently ill that night. I thought I had food poisoning, but after checking with the people I was with, I found it was just me. My body didn't want that and it let me know! Lesson learned.
Week 7
I feel new energy and I see major changes in my legs and arms! Food has been a little hard. I have been thinking about Taco Bell and my favorite chips and dip for days, even after what happened last week. Jesse reminds me that I would probably puke if I ate it, and she's right, in fact just saying it out loud sounds gross. It seems that I hit my calorie goal easily without any room for extras. Guess I don't need extras. (light bulb moment) On a positive note, I LOVE almonds. They're my new junk food. This week I found honey roasted and I'm so happy.
I'm desperate to weigh myself but I have been banned from the scale. Grrrr... I almost cheated, but I honestly didn't want to rob Jesse of seeing the number with me. lol, she has to put up with me 3 days a week, and I do whatever she tells me to. I'm her little fat ball of clay she's molding into a super hero. My success is her success, so we'll wait until next week.
The hardest thing this month has been realizing that my head is months ahead of my body. My brain has made major changes and in my mind I'm much thinner, fitter, stronger than I am. I have to be patient and know that this is a year process. A year. It seems like a long time from this point, but I know in 10 months I'll look back and wonder what took me so long to start the journey.
Week 8
I worked really hard this week. Feeling sore all week long. I get to weigh myself finally and I'm down 4 pounds this month, 10 pounds total. I was pretty discouraged again until I saw this photo. It's pretty powerful and I know I'm gaining tons of muscle. Plus, my husband is seeing major changes in me and tells me all the time. ;-)
~ Jesse-isms ~
Those of you that have been following my facebook just love my trainer and all the funny things she says to me. Here are the "Jesse-isms" from the first two months.
* "That's not sweat, it's your fat crying."
* "It took you this long to get this fat, it's going to take a while to see results."
* "You're such a faker! You're only cheating yourself."
* "'Farm Strong' doesn't look good at the beach, does it?" (referring to someone who told her he was 'farm strong.')
* "Go till failure."
* "You okay down there? You having fat girl problems?"
* "Two more." (This isn't funny or anything, but I hear it all the time, and it usually doesn't mean 2 more.)
* "I'm sorry that a lifetime of fat can't be remedied in two months."
* "That's sad,... keep going." (her response to any complaint)
You can hire Jesse to come to your house and train you! I don't like to share, but everybody deserves a good ass kicking. Message me if you would like her info. #805BodyByJesse
Lessons Learned Month 2
* Have someone to be accountable to. This is a big deal. Jesse asks me what I'm eating, if I've eaten enough. I don't want to think about having to admit to her that I ate a bag of chips and dip. I don't want to know what she would make me do, lol. If I make an appointment with her or with my work out buddy I would never think about canceling. This has been huge in getting me to the gym every day.
* I used eat too much ranch. I do not need a 1/4 cup of ranch on my salad. No one does, yet this is the size the restaurants give you, sometimes more, and I used to SCRAPE every last drop out of that little sucker. Ugh, that makes me want to vomit thinking about it. Now I do the whole dip your fork a little bit in the ranch and then take a bite of salad. It's delicious!! Next month I hope to do away with the ranch totally and switch to a nice olive oil or something. But to go from 1/4 of a cup to a tsp. is a major improvement.
* Eat clean, read everything. If it says FAT FREE, LITE, or LOW IN CALORIES it probably isn't
that good for you. I mean, do you see the veggies bragging about how good they are for you? No, you just know. The only things I eat that are packaged are oatmeal, granola bars, nuts, yogurt and soup. Oh my gosh, I just realized that. This is amazing. The foods marketed towards fat people really makes me mad. We are lied to! Lied to!!! The only safe foods to eat are from a farm. Meaning they come from the ground or are raised on what comes from the ground. Shop the perimeter of the store. Just the fruits, veggies, dairy and meat section. That's it. (Even though the bakery is in the perimeter, it doesn't count, keep walking.)
* You Can't Spot Reduce Fat. You can't choose where you put fat on, you can't choose where you take fat off. You just have to work your entire body. Crunches aren't going to give you a flat stomach. Just abs under your fat. Abs are made in the kitchen.
* It doesn't get easier. Ever, ever. This was hard at first to accept. The reality is, the ultra fit people in the gym are working just as hard as me, probably harder, why wouldn't they be? Why would you ever want to go work out and not sweat or feel it the next day? What a waste of time. I've had to accept that as I get fitter, the workouts will get harder. It will always be hard, I will always be sore, I will always sweat, and I am okay with this.
Week 6
I am a little discouraged. My work out buddy hasn't been able to make it for awhile and working out 2-3 days a week alone sucks. I feel weak and fat, ugh, but I still make it 5 days to the gym.
My trainer, Jesse, put together a meal plan for me and I also found the app "My Fitness Pal" where you can log all of the food you eat. Both have helped me watch my caloric intake. I don't even want to know what it was before, but I know I've cut it by 1/2 if not 2/3. Seriously. I did have a slip up. I had a meeting at a restaurant, and this is a fact for me, I do a lot of business over drinks and food, I have to watch it. I shared a deep fried onion blossom dipped in ranch dressing. Note the word, shared. Well it was enough to make me violently ill that night. I thought I had food poisoning, but after checking with the people I was with, I found it was just me. My body didn't want that and it let me know! Lesson learned.
Week 7
I feel new energy and I see major changes in my legs and arms! Food has been a little hard. I have been thinking about Taco Bell and my favorite chips and dip for days, even after what happened last week. Jesse reminds me that I would probably puke if I ate it, and she's right, in fact just saying it out loud sounds gross. It seems that I hit my calorie goal easily without any room for extras. Guess I don't need extras. (light bulb moment) On a positive note, I LOVE almonds. They're my new junk food. This week I found honey roasted and I'm so happy.
I'm desperate to weigh myself but I have been banned from the scale. Grrrr... I almost cheated, but I honestly didn't want to rob Jesse of seeing the number with me. lol, she has to put up with me 3 days a week, and I do whatever she tells me to. I'm her little fat ball of clay she's molding into a super hero. My success is her success, so we'll wait until next week.
The hardest thing this month has been realizing that my head is months ahead of my body. My brain has made major changes and in my mind I'm much thinner, fitter, stronger than I am. I have to be patient and know that this is a year process. A year. It seems like a long time from this point, but I know in 10 months I'll look back and wonder what took me so long to start the journey.
Week 8
I worked really hard this week. Feeling sore all week long. I get to weigh myself finally and I'm down 4 pounds this month, 10 pounds total. I was pretty discouraged again until I saw this photo. It's pretty powerful and I know I'm gaining tons of muscle. Plus, my husband is seeing major changes in me and tells me all the time. ;-)~ Jesse-isms ~
Those of you that have been following my facebook just love my trainer and all the funny things she says to me. Here are the "Jesse-isms" from the first two months.
* "That's not sweat, it's your fat crying."
* "It took you this long to get this fat, it's going to take a while to see results."
* "You're such a faker! You're only cheating yourself."
* "'Farm Strong' doesn't look good at the beach, does it?" (referring to someone who told her he was 'farm strong.')
* "Go till failure."
* "You okay down there? You having fat girl problems?"
* "Two more." (This isn't funny or anything, but I hear it all the time, and it usually doesn't mean 2 more.)
* "I'm sorry that a lifetime of fat can't be remedied in two months."
* "That's sad,... keep going." (her response to any complaint)
You can hire Jesse to come to your house and train you! I don't like to share, but everybody deserves a good ass kicking. Message me if you would like her info. #805BodyByJesse
Lessons Learned Month 2
* Have someone to be accountable to. This is a big deal. Jesse asks me what I'm eating, if I've eaten enough. I don't want to think about having to admit to her that I ate a bag of chips and dip. I don't want to know what she would make me do, lol. If I make an appointment with her or with my work out buddy I would never think about canceling. This has been huge in getting me to the gym every day.
* I used eat too much ranch. I do not need a 1/4 cup of ranch on my salad. No one does, yet this is the size the restaurants give you, sometimes more, and I used to SCRAPE every last drop out of that little sucker. Ugh, that makes me want to vomit thinking about it. Now I do the whole dip your fork a little bit in the ranch and then take a bite of salad. It's delicious!! Next month I hope to do away with the ranch totally and switch to a nice olive oil or something. But to go from 1/4 of a cup to a tsp. is a major improvement.
* Eat clean, read everything. If it says FAT FREE, LITE, or LOW IN CALORIES it probably isn't
* You Can't Spot Reduce Fat. You can't choose where you put fat on, you can't choose where you take fat off. You just have to work your entire body. Crunches aren't going to give you a flat stomach. Just abs under your fat. Abs are made in the kitchen.
* It doesn't get easier. Ever, ever. This was hard at first to accept. The reality is, the ultra fit people in the gym are working just as hard as me, probably harder, why wouldn't they be? Why would you ever want to go work out and not sweat or feel it the next day? What a waste of time. I've had to accept that as I get fitter, the workouts will get harder. It will always be hard, I will always be sore, I will always sweat, and I am okay with this.
Monday, July 21, 2014
My Full Body and Mind Makeover...An Experiment
June 17, 2014
I have decided that it's now or never. Who cares if it's the middle of wedding season, who cares if I have two events this week, who cares? I will join the gym no matter what. I pull into the Planet Fitness parking lot and enter this unknown facility in heels. It will be the last time I wear heels, or even look cute at the gym. I sign my life away and commit to a year, I figure you have to give anything a year to see real results. I walk out thinking, that was painless. This will also be the last time I think that.
June 18, 2014
I sit in my car and stare at the building. I feel like I'm on a blind date my mom set me up on. A blind date with someone I know I should like, total marriage material, but someone I know I will hate and just isn't my type. I drag myself in with my head down. My trainer, Jesse, is waiting for me. She has me fill out every embarrassing fact about myself; age, weight, current amount of exercise. She knows more about me than my mom! Now there was nothing left to do, it was time to exercise. Ugh!
My First Workout
My first workout...sucked. It honestly wasn't anything too difficult, but for someone overweight and extremely out of shape, it was brutal. I started with 30 minutes on the treadmill as a warm up. (Can I mention that I would have considered THAT the workout.) After the treadmill I worked out with Jesse for an hour. 90 minute workout, longer than I had ever worked out in my adult life. I limped to my car promising Jesse that I would indeed be back the next day. When I got home, I could hardly walk in the house. That night it was so uncomfortable to sleep. Simply laying on my body hurt every single inch of it. I had a terrible night sleep and dragged my sore, exhausted body back to the gym the next day.
Week Two
My events have slowed down allowing me with enough time to do some workout clothes shopping. I feel so much better actually having workout clothes and looking like I belong at the gym. I even had that weird "workout high" leaving the gym. What is happening to me?
Week Three
I am springing out of bed with new found energy! Screw that 30 minutes on the treadmill, I'm up to 30 minutes on the elliptical! I still hate working out, but I've gone 6 days a week since I joined. If anything, I am committed! I bounce into the gym with my head held high ready to take on whatever evil Jesse throws my way! A major difference in just three weeks.
Week Four
I am starting to get discouraged. Yes, I am seeing major strength results, but I don't feel like I am losing weight. I am starting to feel like I will be fat forever. Jesse bans me from the scale.
July 18, 2014 - One Month Gym-iversary
I get to weigh myself and I'm down 6 lbs. I'm not too excited, but Jesse reminds me that I am doing this correctly, not with some fad diet or exercise. I do some math and figure out that if I can keep that weight loss rate up, that will be 72 lbs in a year, that's totally legit! (Jesse also reminded me that it took me this long to get this fat, it's going to take time to get rid of it. She is brutally honest, and just the kick in the ass I need.)
Lessons Learned Month One
(Many of you may know these, but I had to learn them all.)
*A body in motion stays in motion. Now that I have gone to the gym every day for a month, I can't imagine missing a day. Even the one day off a week that I take to rest I'm thinking about the gym.
*Food is fuel. Nothing else. When you work your body out enough, ANYTHING will sound delicious. A bowl of lettuce and chicken with lemon squeezed on it, YUM!! I've been off of fast food for the past month and when I cheated and ate an In N Out Protein Style Dbl Dbl, my body revolted and I became extremely sick. My body isn't used to that crap any more.
*Skinny is not fit. I have learned that those skinny girls, are just skinny, weak girls. I used to just want to lose weight, now I want to be fit, to be strong!
*People at the gym are not mean. I used to be one of those fat people totally afraid of the gym and the fit people there. Guess what, they don't care about what you're doing. They don't look at you twice and in fact if they do notice you, it might be to give encouragement! The only mean person I've met is my trainer, and I've asked her to be mean to me. ;-)
*People lie to fat people. You know how many of my friends have told me I'm not fat? They're trying to be nice and I think they mean that I "look" fabulous. We all know I can work it! But the reality is that I'm dying in this body. Slowly. I don't "feel" fabulous. As I get older it will just be harder to lose the weight. The nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, is to tell me I'm fat, weak, and that I don't have to be! So thank you Jesse, for being that one person and that one person I can trust to get me to the other side. I'll see you there.
I have decided that it's now or never. Who cares if it's the middle of wedding season, who cares if I have two events this week, who cares? I will join the gym no matter what. I pull into the Planet Fitness parking lot and enter this unknown facility in heels. It will be the last time I wear heels, or even look cute at the gym. I sign my life away and commit to a year, I figure you have to give anything a year to see real results. I walk out thinking, that was painless. This will also be the last time I think that.
June 18, 2014
I sit in my car and stare at the building. I feel like I'm on a blind date my mom set me up on. A blind date with someone I know I should like, total marriage material, but someone I know I will hate and just isn't my type. I drag myself in with my head down. My trainer, Jesse, is waiting for me. She has me fill out every embarrassing fact about myself; age, weight, current amount of exercise. She knows more about me than my mom! Now there was nothing left to do, it was time to exercise. Ugh!
My First Workout
My first workout...sucked. It honestly wasn't anything too difficult, but for someone overweight and extremely out of shape, it was brutal. I started with 30 minutes on the treadmill as a warm up. (Can I mention that I would have considered THAT the workout.) After the treadmill I worked out with Jesse for an hour. 90 minute workout, longer than I had ever worked out in my adult life. I limped to my car promising Jesse that I would indeed be back the next day. When I got home, I could hardly walk in the house. That night it was so uncomfortable to sleep. Simply laying on my body hurt every single inch of it. I had a terrible night sleep and dragged my sore, exhausted body back to the gym the next day.
Week Two
My events have slowed down allowing me with enough time to do some workout clothes shopping. I feel so much better actually having workout clothes and looking like I belong at the gym. I even had that weird "workout high" leaving the gym. What is happening to me?
Week Three
I am springing out of bed with new found energy! Screw that 30 minutes on the treadmill, I'm up to 30 minutes on the elliptical! I still hate working out, but I've gone 6 days a week since I joined. If anything, I am committed! I bounce into the gym with my head held high ready to take on whatever evil Jesse throws my way! A major difference in just three weeks.
Week Four
I am starting to get discouraged. Yes, I am seeing major strength results, but I don't feel like I am losing weight. I am starting to feel like I will be fat forever. Jesse bans me from the scale.
July 18, 2014 - One Month Gym-iversary
I get to weigh myself and I'm down 6 lbs. I'm not too excited, but Jesse reminds me that I am doing this correctly, not with some fad diet or exercise. I do some math and figure out that if I can keep that weight loss rate up, that will be 72 lbs in a year, that's totally legit! (Jesse also reminded me that it took me this long to get this fat, it's going to take time to get rid of it. She is brutally honest, and just the kick in the ass I need.)
Lessons Learned Month One
(Many of you may know these, but I had to learn them all.)
*A body in motion stays in motion. Now that I have gone to the gym every day for a month, I can't imagine missing a day. Even the one day off a week that I take to rest I'm thinking about the gym.
*Food is fuel. Nothing else. When you work your body out enough, ANYTHING will sound delicious. A bowl of lettuce and chicken with lemon squeezed on it, YUM!! I've been off of fast food for the past month and when I cheated and ate an In N Out Protein Style Dbl Dbl, my body revolted and I became extremely sick. My body isn't used to that crap any more.
*Skinny is not fit. I have learned that those skinny girls, are just skinny, weak girls. I used to just want to lose weight, now I want to be fit, to be strong!
*People at the gym are not mean. I used to be one of those fat people totally afraid of the gym and the fit people there. Guess what, they don't care about what you're doing. They don't look at you twice and in fact if they do notice you, it might be to give encouragement! The only mean person I've met is my trainer, and I've asked her to be mean to me. ;-)
*People lie to fat people. You know how many of my friends have told me I'm not fat? They're trying to be nice and I think they mean that I "look" fabulous. We all know I can work it! But the reality is that I'm dying in this body. Slowly. I don't "feel" fabulous. As I get older it will just be harder to lose the weight. The nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, is to tell me I'm fat, weak, and that I don't have to be! So thank you Jesse, for being that one person and that one person I can trust to get me to the other side. I'll see you there.
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